Thank You

Well life has certainly gotten interesting here at the DeKorte house :) Exactly one week ago today we met Meri and our lives will never be the same again. I feel a little overcome right now. As I'm writing this I'm reflecting back and thinking about all the texts, emails, phone calls, FB & blog messages... and I can't help but feel like the most blessed person on the planet right now. As I feel my Heavenly Father's love for me and for us I often get emotional and can't help but feel gratitude for His watchful eye and for Him allowing us to experience these things together.
If you read this blog and don't know what I'm talking about haha you can read about our upcoming adoption HERE.
I have been getting a lot of questions about these events and I'm sure more will come. If you have a question, ask! We aren't shy and if we can't tell you we'll just say that and no pressure about it. Here are a few I've already gotten.

- Yes, we really are discussing baby names with Meri. She get the final pick or do we? Legally, we do. The original birth certificate will be sealed and filed once Baby girl is legally adopted, which will happen at 30 days. At that time she will get a new birth certificate with our names as the parents. Although we have the 'final' say, we are including her in the name choice. With all the thousands of names out there we feel extremely confident we can find at least one we all like :) We have passed back and forth names already and she has very good taste. We'll let you know!

- The birthfather, who I won't even give a nickname, isn't in the picture. Yes, he could attempt to contest the adoption at the 30 day court hearing. However, since he hasn't been supporting Meri through her pregnancy he doesn't stand a good chance of winning. If he does win, Baby girl would go to Meri and he would be forced to visit and pay child support. It's not something we are choosing to worry about.

- What if she changes her mind? Because of Meri's steller character and strong willed personality as well as her situation we do not feel this is likely. Possible? Yes. Meri will sign papers when Baby is 12 hours old. The papers are drawn up by the lawyers and basically she signs saying she is putting Baby in the agency's custody. Then we file papers with the ICPC in order to be able to leave the state and to also say we will be caring for Baby until the trial at 30 days. If somewhere during that time Meri were to change her mind, we have already decided we would forgo our rights and bring her back. My heart almost stops beating to even think it but we are not here to create heart break or be destructive. I would never be able to live with myself if I didn't have Meri's support and if she was forever angry and bitter.

- I love this question I've been getting with every call: How can I help?? Oh friends and family, how I love you and your generous spirits! Thank you! Even the thought has me all warm and fuzzy inside :)
Right now I will admit: I pretty much have nothing currently. I have a crib which has a mattress and the 2 crib sheets I sewed. I have some of the toys Brad played with as a small child that his parents loving brought to us along with a few little things they have picked up in Hawaii. I have 3 Finding Nemo stuffed character toys. That's it! At this point I am gathering advise and thank you for everyone who has given it! I'll need to create some sort of registry soon so I can try to figure out what I need. I'm not totally sure where to begin :)
Ideas specifically on carseats, strollers, and newborn products would be especially helpful right now.
Are we having a baby shower? Ummmm.... yes? :) Since we will be back in Oregon when Darling is only 8 weeks old or so our current idea is to have one here in Iowa perhaps in April and then an Oregon one when we arrive there towards the 3rd week in July. Then she can be passed around and loved and admired by all haha! Last night we received baby pictures of Meri and oh my heavens we are so excited- she was such a beautiful baby! Anyway, as soon as we have more information on the baby showers we will certainly let you know!

- Can I come visit when she's born? This is another question that I love because it's been wonderful to feel everyone's support. For the first 4 weeks we will be concentrating heavily on bonding. Attachment is always something that is important and because I did not personally carry our daughter it is even more so. We are currently in contact with an expert on this topic, Jen Winkelmann, MA, LPC, NCC who is based out of Colorado. We met her last June at the FSA meeting in Denver and my heart was touched and the logic rang true. We will be closely following her advise for optimal attachment. One of the things she recommends is having family time just the 3 of us until the baby is 3 months old. That is a long time. I asked what the minimal time was and she said 1 month. So one month it is. It is important that we be the only ones to feed her, change her, play with her, and care for her. Would you still like to help during that time? Helping me with the house and meals would still be greatly appreciated! After one month we will be able to relax a little. Don't be offended if I'm a little strict with hygiene- adopted babies have less immunities and are more susceptible to getting sick. This is another reason we are being a little more protective of her.
We can't wait for each of you to meet her and get to know her!

Thank you again to each of you that have reached out to us. I know I keep saying it but it's been such an outpouring it's lovely to feel so loved! It was a big and somewhat difficult decision to put all this up on the web. The main reason we did it was because Meri asked us to. She also draws strength from your comments and support. We love her and are excited to be on this journey together.

A special shout out to our niece Alison! She is 3 today and 110% fun and personality :) We had an awesome time with her in Oregon this year and know she'll be such a good big cousin! Love you Alison!!!!!